Chapter 6 - The Woman in the Waiting Room
Dr. Mira Patel’s office had a fish tank.
That was the first thing Lily noticed.
Not the beige couch.
Not the basket of toys.
Not the two doors leading to separate rooms.
The fish.
One orange fish kept chasing another around a plastic castle.
Lily sat between Aaron and Caroline.
Victoria had not come.
Dr. Patel had requested that Aaron bring one supportive adult who was not directly involved in the conflict.
Caroline volunteered.
Aaron had spent forty-five minutes with Dr. Patel before Lily’s appointment.
He did not tell Lily what they discussed.
When Lily asked, he said, “Some of it is private, but none of it is about blaming you.”
Lily liked that answer.
Dr. Patel entered.
She was warm without acting silly.
That mattered.
Adults often spoke to Lily in voices that suggested seven-year-olds could not detect pretending.
Dr. Patel sat on the floor.
“I hear you found a lot of letters.”
Lily nodded.
“How did that feel?”
“Bad.”
“Only bad?”
Lily thought.
“Good too.”
“Anything else?”
“Mad.”
“Anything else?”
“Confusing.”
Dr. Patel smiled.
“That sounds like a lot of feelings for one shoebox.”
Lily almost smiled.
They talked for nearly an hour.
Dr. Patel did not ask whether Lily wanted to live with Natalie.
She did not ask who Lily loved more.
She asked what Lily knew.
What she wanted to know.
What she was afraid might happen.
Lily answered one question quickly.
“I don’t want anybody to make me choose moms.”
Dr. Patel wrote that down.
Before leaving, Lily asked, “Is she here?”
Aaron stiffened.
Dr. Patel did not pretend not to understand.
“Natalie has an appointment after yours.”
Lily stared toward the closed door.
“So she’s coming?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“She may already be in the other waiting room.”
Lily stood.
Aaron reached toward her, then stopped.
“What are you thinking?”
“I want to see her.”
Dr. Patel remained calm.
“Seeing her and meeting her are different things.”
“I know.”
“Which do you want?”
Lily thought.
“See first.”
Dr. Patel arranged it carefully.
Natalie would walk through the garden courtyard on her way into the office.
Lily could watch from behind a window.
Natalie would not know exactly where Lily stood.
No pressure to wave.
No dramatic reunion.
Lily pressed both hands against the windowsill.
Then a woman entered the courtyard.
Brown coat.
Brown hair.
Small silver earrings.
Natalie looked older than the photograph.
More real.
She walked slowly.
Then stopped beside a planter.
For one strange second, she looked toward the window.
Not directly at Lily.
Close.
Lily held her breath.
Natalie’s face looked nervous.
Her hands were clasped tightly.
Lily noticed the gap between her front teeth.
Same as hers.
Natalie disappeared through the side entrance.
Lily stepped back.
“That’s her.”
Aaron’s voice came softly.
“Yes.”
“She looks scared.”
“She probably is.”
“Of me?”
“I don’t think so.”
Lily turned.
“Are you scared?”
Aaron answered honestly.
“Yes.”
“Of her?”
“Of getting this wrong again.”
Lily looked toward the empty courtyard.
Dr. Patel asked if Lily still wanted a future meeting.
“Yes.”
“When?”
“Not today.”
That surprised everyone except Dr. Patel.
Lily needed time to imagine Natalie as a person who existed nearby.
That evening she read three more letters.
At bedtime Aaron sat outside her room until she called him in.
“Daddy?”
“Yes?”
“Was Mommy pretty when you met her?”
Aaron smiled.
“Yes.”
“Prettier than Victoria?”
He nearly choked.
“That is an extremely dangerous question.”
Lily giggled.
Then she became serious.
“How did you meet?”
“At college.”
“What was she doing?”
“Arguing with my economics professor.”
“Why?”
“Because she thought he was wrong.”
“Was he?”
“Probably.”
Lily smiled.
Then asked, “When did you stop loving her?”
Aaron’s smile disappeared.
“I don’t know.”
“Before she got sick?”
“No.”
“After?”
“It wasn’t one day.”
Lily nodded as though storing the answer.
Then whispered, “Did you stop giving her chances because you hated her?”
Aaron sat beside the bed.
“No.”
“Then why?”
“Because every time I imagined letting her close to you, I remembered the worst months.”
“But she got better.”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t.”
Aaron stared.
“What?”
“You were still scared.”
The sentence came without cruelty.
That made it worse.
Aaron looked at his seven-year-old daughter and realized she had understood what years of lawyers had failed to make him admit.
Natalie had changed.
His fear had not.
“No,” he said. “I didn’t.”
Lily curled beneath her blanket.
“Can I meet her Saturday?”
Aaron’s chest tightened.
“I’ll tell Dr. Patel.”
“Okay.”
He kissed Lily’s forehead.
When he walked downstairs, Victoria was sitting in the dark living room.
“She wants Saturday?”
Aaron stopped.
“You heard?”
“Yes.”
He turned on a lamp.
Victoria’s eyes were red.
“What happens if Natalie becomes part of her life?”
“She becomes part of her life.”
“And me?”
Aaron sat opposite her.
“You’re still responsible for what you do next.”
Victoria laughed bitterly.
“That sounds like something your therapist told you.”
“No.”
Aaron looked toward Lily’s room.
“My daughter did.”
Victoria began to cry.
“I’m losing her.”
Aaron shook his head.
“No. But if you keep making her love someone else feel like a betrayal of you, you might.”
Victoria stared at him.
The truth terrified her.
Upstairs, Lily placed Natalie’s photograph under her pillow.
Not because she had decided Natalie was wonderful.
Not because she had forgiven anyone.
Because Saturday she would meet the woman from the letters.
And for the first time, Lily understood that learning the truth might not put her family back together.
May you like
It might change what family meant entirely.
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